the ability to eat a friend in tiomes of need could be vital to the modern relationship

ben. michael jackson's critical high point. what a star. no need to jump on couches or get hooked on bad crack cocain. this guy is happy to mak d-grade dance movies which challenge and enrich the minds of more than just children. the point is. ben. what an expolration of the human psyche. a friend you can roast and eat if times get tough. say your arm is caught under a boulder while attempting endurance adventure sports or after a hard night of drinking at the pub. the ultimate sacrifice. bliss. if you are trained to cook it right.

almost..

i am almost as fit as i can become
before the world starts to crumble around me.
infinitely aware of both my appearance and the whole swing of my being,
i am becoming more concious day by day
of the cirumfrance my existance spreads
as it completes its back and forth.
and not dsitracting from others norm,
peace it seems is someone elses dream.

the test of good and evil

found recently a test of good and evil. if you are to place your faith in anything but god, then it is evil. simple (thanks to some freako religious bird). e.g magnetic underlay matress - if you think it will help your back, it is evil. crystals - if you think they are pretty and look nice at home on display, good. if you think they will cure your back or your mental state, evil. it is flawless. if you take an object in lustfull superficiality it is good. if you place any faith in it it is evil. vitamins, evil. toilet paper, evil. shpoes, evil. get the drift?.

super powers

i woke today to find i had super powers. i think that the powers entered me through a wound i sustained whi;e peeling prawns. how surprised i was to find my powers enabled me to offend just about evryone. from the closest friend to the guy in the street. so i set about my work. i called a friend at 2 am and demanded pills. i stole makeup from my grand mother. i stayed up all night watching jackie gleeson. what a rush. i said all the wrong things and didnt stop to pass go. i dont know how long it will last or who i can help. i could drive all night full of beer and still get to the finish line. i am only half of the man i was a year ago.

work at the moment

sometimes its effortless and sometimes its still like lifting wieghtes.
the boys rile me but dont seem to conspire against me yet.
mabe its casu i'm an adult
not a peer to devour
lucked out.

three step process

of the fellings to.

i thought everything was a three step process.
how glad i was to find it was often more or less.
at times conspiring against you to take small peices to burn.
but at times building thought upon thought to really hit the mark.
resulting in a current of;
change.
energy.
possibility.
undoubtedly not of conception.
reseting before,
often,
fulfillment.

new dictonary meanings for old things

ghost's conciousness' are our bacteria. not really the last stop on the way out, but rather the first evolutionary step on the way in. maybe the less reality the better.

new generation quiz

at the risk of swearing i dont want any punctuationally discerning old last generation fucks to bother with this quiz. here we go, again big ups to the first five correct answers recieved. what line of work is the most concievable occupation for david bowie in the new new society?think hard.answer sincerley.more later.

the marlin brando blog

as if brando wasnt sexy enough i heard he sat in bed for weeks demanding shit from hangers on before he faded. the guy was so hot in wild one that no one even cared the script was shit and when he spoke his mind in apocaplypse now the world was a snail on a razor blade. air had a habit of pausing before and after his lips in a cold and heavily dense way befor finally he breathed it out no more. but we always have utube and the video shop.more later.

sore loosers suck jelly squares

at the risk of sounding high-brow i think its time i put to rest my nigling anoyances at linus pauling for his extreme arrogance in correspondance over the dna discovery. i mean the guy wasnt a rock star or anything, sure he may have discovered the structure of protein but hes no james frued. incidently, i also wonder if james freud has discovered a cure for swine flu cause i read his book and got better and thats the way it works with those big guys. stay tuned for my marlin brando blog. more later.

wholistic management

i have seen both sides. in and out. someone should genetically engineer footy players not to rape chicks in the off season and season. viva la castro. less porblems.

reflections

looking back i was so deeply tanned it was almost horifying.
and i would do weights and learn acrobatic techniques
and walk like an ape.
when i walked into a room,
the conversation stopped; a monster from hell.
i walked down the street like my feet would break the pavement.
i picked up cars by the front bumper and
shadow boxed with extraordinary speed.
now i slump, pale,
the muscles shrank,
coughing and
drinking endless coffee and beer.
but people hang on my every word; my mind a dirty sabre.
drawing more and less from life.
what a ride,can i get off now?

true understanding of tough.

it is sexy to be so tough. i know all the chicks i know love their tough men. like them to work out and get buff. like them to cick the dog and drop the kids off in care . nice,.

footy comment

should comment on the footy cause the horsesaent bringing in the income. most guys revert to footy comments when tnhere is nothing else but it takes one to know one. i dont subscribe.

more later.

end gallery

worlds fall likie inevitable decisions abop our heads as wide oprn as they are and tells us that it is less a evol than it is a scare.juust trust thatbit is that which is that comes to aid. a thankfull scene, all panned and that. just seems to kind give but know it cant. just forget, when you cant. just move on. spaces are good to stick suff on a bus. that is true of all. that end gallery, and chicks hang around. nothing stole but your window was open. holdin tight onto nothing at all. funny how man athletic guys hang at he staion and want speed. must be lack of talent, too much facial hair. washes over me like the ocen leaving grain of sans in my understndind. not enough.

more later.

campbelltown : home of the new wave.

far from the ocean but only in a physical sense, campbelltown in the mighty macarthur gets the vote this month as the coastal city most likely to reinstate pizza hut all you can eat restuarants.

more later.

buffy quiz results

i guess its with at least a little hesitation that i send big ups out to jimmy thag who submitted smutty yet appropriate responses to the buffy quiz. who would have thought a skinny white girl slayer would be so into outdated baskeball slang.

more later.

newcastle has really begun to change.

you know their is something sublimely transcendetal about the fact thet in almost a week this blog has only received 1 posted comment. all this regaurdless of the fact the i have offered significant cash prizes and even shown great leaps and practically redifined literature, anywya, enough about me, i was hanging out in the alley behind toughen-up the other day with two japanese guys i met drifting in wallsend. they were smoking cigaretes and i was shooting dice and trying to get perfect numbers. the harbour used to be a hideaay for dead bodies, and icould almost catch the smell coming up through the back of wickham as i rolled eleven after elleven and listened to these boys bitch about paint kobs and pannel work. i walked down hunter street and noticed a dark patch in front of a shopfront which stank like old meat. so kneeling to investigate i discoved a delicate pie of shit and on top like a crowning glory was the pair of calivin clines the loving patron had used to whipe his ass with before he weht on to the next joint. newcastle has really began to change.

hells bucket preveiw

music news

do yourslf a real favour. go to tripple j unearthed and listen to hells bucket. thos eguys rock. no review neede, its a treat. maybe we will feture them on the blogg? i would appreciate comments.

celebrity comments

call in or leave a message to win a prize. first three people to successfully argue that the guy from the mighty boosh looks like paul stanley (as judged by me) win a mystery prize (sounds exciting). just leave, mailing address and comment below.

news: suburban gang wars

it is difficult for some to grasp the concept of safety. safe work prectices. child safety. a safe bet. i got a friend who talks it up about safety. says he's the oh+s man. likes to criticise my home whether under revovation or daily use. says safety is everyones biz. gets mucho in the street when gang wars start or some guy gets too big for his balls and starts mouthing off. this gut is tough too. he aint just talk, but he does like to tell you about it in torturous detail. god love him.
tonite there was a gang war in my street. guess it's happening everywhere now days. seems all my friends are pulling their kids outa bed in the middle of the night in case the juice gets too thick and you cant strain it anymore. i was tough though folks. i thought of my friend, i thought - safety is everyones responsibility. so i just strated swinging. these japanese guys up the road were shocked. they were just talking cars with their rockabilly hairdo's and cigarettes. trying to work the kinks out of their buddy's skyline. so there am i yelling - come on fool (my kids behind me around my ancles), and they are just looking at each other. too cool i say. maybe too cool for a gang war. we all go back too sleep. damn roaches.

quiz for buffy fans

big ups for anyone who can write in and tell me what the hell 5x5 means.

news: bankers mostly are gay theory finally proved

the word up to date is that bankers, those smart looking gentlemen that enjoy loose change being tenderly shoved into their pants are actually gay. who would have thought it? more later.

interveiw with daif ling

BP: what was your motivation?
DL: just to contribute to timeless art. i dont want to work in a factory no more.
BP: what is your book called?
DL: jacob's mountain.
BP: what's it about?
DL: i want tell you what its about, but it's not about a mountain really, well there is a mountain but its not about a 'mountain' really. more a big guy, or a weightlifter or something. i mean. i think it abiout this big fuckin fairy guy who just kinda does stuff. no. its about aboy named jacob who dies when he is three or some shit. and.and. a boy who is into medicinal plqnt extraction with his grandma when hes a kid. is name is jacob. they live next to a doctor who's real conservative. and he don't like it too much. yeah.
BP: interresting, no, i liked it actually. all shit aside. i really liked it.
DL: body oil.
BP: what?
DL: body oil, you said i could talk about body oil.
BP: what?
DL: never mind.
BP: o.k, well, .., what do you do to be tough?
DL: the usual stuff. i got a family that shit is tough. i fart, you know? drink beer, fight and stuff.
BP: do you lift weights.
DL: sometimes. sometimes i do push ups. use it or loose it i say.
BP: well that's all we have time for by daif.
DL: solong.

working out

being tough isn't too hard to maintain. i work out with wieghts. lots of reps. sometimes with household objects. eg the dictionary. use it or loose it i say.

nice sleeves man

so i was at my local shopping centre with my two daughters, and i was having a particularly difficult time trying to wrangle with them and get all my erands done. my last task was to post a few letters including two packages. the door to the post shop was not a the conveniently automated sliding door i have come to expect from the modern shopping centre, but rather and awkward, double glazed, single door. ive got the two kids in a supermarket trolley. i push the door open and squeeze through trying not to wack the trolley into the door, which just about takes the last of my energy (sad given its 10:30 in the morning). by this time the kids are no longer happy to stay in the trolley and after a minor battle (i which i was as usual the loser) they were freed to the fanastic world that is the post shop floor. they are 2 and 4. the four year old was o.k, she just floped down in front of a rack of abc books, mesmerised. the 2 year old, however, is 2. say no more. so i am trying to adress this stuff and stop her from total destruction, and i do o.k if i don't say so myself. i get to the counter and the postage comes to a total of 7 dollars and something, unfortunately under the ten dollar limit. the guy at the counter casually tells me their is an atm a few shops down. i look at him, at the kids, at the trolley, at the door, at the kids again, and i think - yeah right easy for you to say (hope that isnt under copywrite thag!). the guy is just looking at me and smiling. o.k i say slowly. he is still smiling. deep breath. grab kids and put the in the trolley. squeeze back out through the door (as i do a girl pushes past me into the shop and smiles - n.b. what's with all the smiling?) race down to the atm, get the money, and race back. done. evryone happy. or as close as you get. so as i am heading to my car i see this old guy (around 70) with full sleeve tattoos. and he is miling too. he stops me and says - what's the most expensive thing in your trolley?. i look. kids panadol, dymatap, nurofen, two sorts of cough drops, face cream (for my partner i assure you), telephone, backpack full of kids clothes and snacks etc, plum sauce, choy sum. choy sum i say, trying to be funny. i meant the kids idiot says the guy. idiot i think, maybe i am. what comeback can i think of. nice sleeve i say as he walks away. he doesn'T hear me. lucky he didnt. he would probably have smacked me out in the carpark. my kids would be scarred for life. 10:45 another exerpt from the shag pile.